yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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