At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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