I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
