It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
