I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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