windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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