i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
