I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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