it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize