Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
