forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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