she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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