ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
