Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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