she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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