dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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