What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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