So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I got inside last night via doggy door
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
