five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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