hotel room ftw
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
