Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I've blown a few things in my day
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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