all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
