Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
