Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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