Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize