You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
