I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
