You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
