Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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