Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
