Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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