We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
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