I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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