so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
