Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
