every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
