are you still at the devil's house?
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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