And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
