I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
