It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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