The best revenge is premature balding
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
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