Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
the liver wants what the liver wants
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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