you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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