Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
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