dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
