I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Hello my rib-scented angel!
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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