laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Can you bring me the toilet please
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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