Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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