I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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