She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
