So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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