You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
