I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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