the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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