I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize