don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
