Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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