my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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