some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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