Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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