we have pet lesbian snakes
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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