have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
